Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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