What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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240

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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