Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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