what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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