What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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Women's rights.

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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187

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What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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