Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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