What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

thumb_up thumb_down +76

if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life gets you down, make a comforter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

thumb_up thumb_down -4

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

thumb_up thumb_down -100

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +95

when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops