What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Dylan Eichas

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Caitlyn.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops