What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -6

the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

pubic lice.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops