All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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240

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Lacrosse

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops