Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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Invisible Television.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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a Jew had a small nose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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