What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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hi.... bonjour... hola... DOOO YOUUUU UNDERSTANDDD MEEE !!!!!!!!!!!

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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make me a sandwich!

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Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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