how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

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Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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Dylan Eichas

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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i was molested.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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