Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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