Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

Invisible Television.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

What's brown and sticky? a stick.

What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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