Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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poop.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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Q: What did Micheal Jackson Say to the boys? A: He can't speak because he's dead.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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am i invited to party? no

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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your moms fat. she's ugly too.

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops