A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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17

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops