Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Whats worse then losing your phone? The Holocaust

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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Why did the black guy punch the Mexican guy? Because they were in a fight.

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Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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smug face >:}

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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