A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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Invisible Television.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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