An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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i was molested.

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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