What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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