What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

hi hi strager danger

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

i was molested.

Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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