Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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(insert antijoke here

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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poop.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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