a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

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a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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(insert antijoke here

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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