How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -67

What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -117

What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops