Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

What?

How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

a Jew had a small nose

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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