What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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Oh

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Sarah Palin

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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