Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

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A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

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So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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