I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Women's rights.

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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Sarah Palin

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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