Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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