Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Arron Glass

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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