Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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