How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

whats forever alone me

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

A married man takes the ring off his finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops