Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -63

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

thumb_up thumb_down -103

What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

thumb_up thumb_down +84

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops