Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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