Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Fat people.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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