Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

thumb_up thumb_down

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

i was molested.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +65

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Invisible Television.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops