A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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A seal walks into a club...

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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