Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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hi hi strager danger

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops