How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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What is Ash gray Battleship gray Black Blue-gray Cadet gray Charcoal Cool gray Davy's gray Payne's gray Gunmetal Silver Slate gray Taupe Purple taupe Medium taupe Rose quartz Taupe gray Timberwolf WhiteApple green Asparagus Bright green Cal Poly Chartreuse Dark olive green Dark spring green Dartmouth green Fern green Forest greenGreen Green-yellow Harlequin Honeydew Hunter green India green Islamic green Jungle green Lawn green LimePhthalo green Pigment green Pine green Pistachio Sea green Shamrock green Spring bud Spring green Teal Yellow-greenAlice blue Aqua Aquamarine Celeste Cerulean Cyan Electric blue Jungle green Magic mint MintAir Force blue Air superiority blue Alice blue Azure Baby blue Bleu de France Blue Blue-gray Bondi blue Brandeis blueAmethyst Byzantium Cerise Eggplant Fandango Fuchsia Heliotrope Indigo Lavender blush Lavender (floralblack gray silver white maroon red purple fuchsia green lime olive yellow navy blue teal aqua a List that you just spent 5 min reading

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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What happen to the ginger after he posted a joke? He was put in jail for 6 months, and analy raped in prision!

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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LIKE THIS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops