Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +7

To mamas so fat shes fat

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -155

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops