Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

hi, im sober.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

An irishman walks out of a pub

Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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