roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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So a man is shopping on black Friday...

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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A seal walks into a club...

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Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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