how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -203

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An irishman walks out of a pub

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

thumb_up thumb_down -104

smug face >:}

thumb_up thumb_down -186

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +163

Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops