How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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SNAPPLE!

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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