Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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im gay because im gay

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops