How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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