Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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187

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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