Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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