Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

thumb_up thumb_down -97

That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

thumb_up thumb_down +148

How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

thumb_up thumb_down +50

what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down

POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +171

What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops