Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

SNAPPLE!

A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...