Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Sarah Palin

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

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A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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