What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops