when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

Oh

What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

hi, im sober.

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

SNAPPLE!

Cole is "good" at soccer

a

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...