Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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SNAPPLE!

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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