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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

Women's rights.

why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

a

Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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