Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats plastic and phonie a phone

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +174

A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Cole is "good" at soccer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops