A seal walks into a club...

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am i invited to party? no

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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187

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops