What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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SNAPPLE!

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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