why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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SNAPPLE!

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Whats plastic and phonie a phone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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