Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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a

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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