I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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hi, im sober.

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

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Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

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Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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