Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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