Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

thumb_up thumb_down -34

So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +167

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

SNAPPLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

smug face >:}

thumb_up thumb_down -185

Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -203

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops