What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats forever alone me

thumb_up thumb_down -42

So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops