An irishman walks out of a pub

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a

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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