A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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whats forever alone me

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A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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a

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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Womens rights

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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