Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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SNAPPLE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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