if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Oh

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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smug face >:}

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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SNAPPLE!

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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