An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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