Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

A seal walks into a club...

I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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