A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Oh

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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