A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

thumb_up thumb_down -165

A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops