Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +167

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +163

What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops