What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats plastic and phonie a phone

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +173

knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

thumb_up thumb_down +85

What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops