Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

???????????? WTF?

Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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