Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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am i invited to party? no

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops