How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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