A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

Women's rights.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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