Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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LIKE THIS!

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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am i invited to party? no

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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