Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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187

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti joke Bananas

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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