Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

170

Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

LIKE THIS!

What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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