Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

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A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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Justin Bieber.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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