what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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Two white people walk into a bar what do they say? "hi"

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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Arron Glass

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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am i invited to party? no

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

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how long has dibey got left like :)

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops