A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops