I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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