Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

Two white people walk into a bar what do they say? "hi"

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

PENIS THAT IS ALL!

An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

how long has dibey got left like :)

they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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