I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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