How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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PATHETIC

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops