Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Fat people.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops