Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

Sonic

POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

What's brown and sticky? a stick

What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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