Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

thumb_up thumb_down -22

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

how long has dibey got left like :)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

thumb_up thumb_down -26

you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

thumb_up thumb_down +183

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +181

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +165

When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What did Micheal Jackson Say to the boys? A: He can't speak because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops