ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

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knock knock who's there? refelection reflection who? reflection in the mirror, it's you -lINDz@Y $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ s/0 to my B0oFrand J0rdan MiLaRR

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

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black people. that is all...

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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how long has dibey got left like :)

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Justin Bieber.

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Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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