how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

thumb_up thumb_down -170

So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

thumb_up thumb_down +177

Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +131

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -121

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -147

How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

PENIS THAT IS ALL!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops