Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -154

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There once was a man from Nantucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A baby seal walked into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops