What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

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Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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