Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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68

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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