Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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Where is my tractor?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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How are you this morning?

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

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what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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