Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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So a man is shopping on black Friday...

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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Womens rights

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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