You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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George Bush.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

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So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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