why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

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Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops