A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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