20

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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