One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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69

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What happen to the ginger after he posted a joke? He was put in jail for 6 months, and analy raped in prision!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops