What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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20

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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