What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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20

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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