Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +35

call of duty world at war

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a cow? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a black man jumps in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down

Oh

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the boy fall down? he was shot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops