A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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