What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

20

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

thumb_up thumb_down -44

why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

thumb_up thumb_down -154

*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

thumb_up thumb_down +199

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops