When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

thumb_up thumb_down -121

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -145

So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

thumb_up thumb_down +178

hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

thumb_up thumb_down +110

rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +98

69

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

thumb_up thumb_down +45

20

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops