What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

thumb_up thumb_down -163

whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

thumb_up thumb_down +44

385

thumb_up thumb_down +42

"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops