Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

69

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

Whats white and all over my room? paint

whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

The Olympics

What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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