a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happen to the ginger after he posted a joke? He was put in jail for 6 months, and analy raped in prision!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

69

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops