What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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