Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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a black man jumps in a pool.

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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