Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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