Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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Fat people.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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385

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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