A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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385

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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