What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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Yes.

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Oh

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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