What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

Har har hey

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

a black man jumps in a pool.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

Fat people.

Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...