I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -145

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +164

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops