Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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