How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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