Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Fat people.

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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385

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Where is my tractor?

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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