What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Where is my tractor?

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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Har har hey

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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69

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20

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops