A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

Where is my tractor?

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

Fat people.

I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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