What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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