If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Dont look at me.

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Are you a tree? No.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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knock knock who's there? refelection reflection who? reflection in the mirror, it's you -lINDz@Y $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ s/0 to my B0oFrand J0rdan MiLaRR

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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