Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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You

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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call of duty world at war

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Men's Rights

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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