Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops