I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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