George Bush.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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