HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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Where is my tractor?

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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