Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

PATHETIC

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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