What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops