If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +144

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +44

call of duty world at war

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

thumb_up thumb_down

I have no soul so I must consume yours

thumb_up thumb_down

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -122

My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

thumb_up thumb_down -184

Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

what did the man say to the other man? hi

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops