What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

5

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

one day a grape was in the sun raisin

why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

I'm hungry.

How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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