Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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