a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Are you a tree? No.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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sexual intercourse.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops