Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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A man buys free health care...

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Yes.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops