How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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You

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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