How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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