If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops