Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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knock knock who's there? refelection reflection who? reflection in the mirror, it's you -lINDz@Y $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ s/0 to my B0oFrand J0rdan MiLaRR

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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You

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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