Are you a tree? No.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Sonic

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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