I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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knock knock who's there? refelection reflection who? reflection in the mirror, it's you -lINDz@Y $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ s/0 to my B0oFrand J0rdan MiLaRR

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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