It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

How are you this morning?

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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