Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops