Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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69

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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So you there Red?

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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