Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

170

Q: Whats better than 10 baby's nailed to 1 tree. A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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