Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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You

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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