What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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call of duty world at war

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Where is my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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