What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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