Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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boobs

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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