A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -127

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

thumb_up thumb_down +198

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -146

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +167

What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops