Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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boobs

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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Fat people.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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