How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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Fat people.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Miley Cyrus.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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boobs

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops