A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Miley Cyrus.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Where is my tractor?

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops