What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -172

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

thumb_up thumb_down -176

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

thumb_up thumb_down +199

Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -145

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

thumb_up thumb_down -153

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +164

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops