Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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Where is my tractor?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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boobs

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops