Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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boobs

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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The Olympics

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Where is my tractor?

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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