I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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