What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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The Olympics

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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