Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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