How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's brown and sticky? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

thumb_up thumb_down +199

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down +135

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops