How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops