I have no soul so I must consume yours

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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The Olympics

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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