Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

thumb_up thumb_down +198

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

385

thumb_up thumb_down +42

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +32

9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -172

Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops