What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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The Olympics

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Women's Rights.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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