Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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