Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops