Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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