Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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The Olympics

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops