I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Har har hey

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Word play, punch-line, joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

thumb_up thumb_down -192

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

thumb_up thumb_down +199

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +191

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +149

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down +135

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops