Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

How are you this morning?

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

The Olympics

What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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