Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Women's Rights.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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