If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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