Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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Fat people.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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