What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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So you there Red?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Are you a tree? No.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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sexual intercourse.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops