A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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if you read this you are gay

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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Are you a tree? No.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Apple.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops