A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,co8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cg8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,chjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c3qugj],gjpcjr,c

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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