Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

Women's Rights.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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