roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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