Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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Jews...

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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