Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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