What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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