Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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400 asian people walked in a bar

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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