How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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1,984

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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