I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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