Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

thumb_up thumb_down -7

boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops