I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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69

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Hi

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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1,984

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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