roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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boobs

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Society.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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