A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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