Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Hi

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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