How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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