what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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boobs

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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