Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -174

roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

thumb_up thumb_down -208

Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops