Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops