What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

thumb_up thumb_down -53

A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

thumb_up thumb_down +76

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

thumb_up thumb_down -74

How do you call a black man? By his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops