Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down

Jews...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -196

What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +181

Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops