"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -51

You're a wizard Harry! I am?

thumb_up thumb_down -55

?"what's up" "A preposition"

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -36

knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -182

Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +111

An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops