April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

banana

thumb_up thumb_down

obamas trench

thumb_up thumb_down

How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

thumb_up thumb_down -206

Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +109

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

one day a grape was in the sun raisin

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops