How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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obamas trench

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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banana

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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