Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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