What's green and invisible? This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

banana

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Sheesh people! Stop insulting my last comment! Do not GO into my comment section, I do not WANT YOU to keep thumbing up those that call me pedo. Moral: Norway... you gonna call us all pedophiles? Please... besides I prefer them over nineteen... the downside is that they often got a couple of kids already at that age... Sigh...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -145

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -163

Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +154

Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +110

A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

thumb_up thumb_down +94

An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops