Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

thumb_up thumb_down -179

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +174

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yo mama is so fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

obamas trench

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Justin Bieber walks into a Gay-Bar. He is then kindly escorted out because he is underage. Also, because the patrons gave him certain looks that brought concern to the heterosexual bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

banana

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops