What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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