What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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It’s dead.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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i hate anti-jokes ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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