ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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Test

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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666

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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