How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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666

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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A man walks into a pole.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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