What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

It’s dead.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

What does 1+1 equal? 2

What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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