A man walks into a pole.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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Test

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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