Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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Test

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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