ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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That was SOOOOO funny that I laughed!!!!!

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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