Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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A man walks into a pole.

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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