How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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666

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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