Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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Penis.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops