A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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A man walks into a pole.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops