A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Penis.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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