Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

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That was SOOOOO funny that I laughed!!!!!

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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