A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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Test

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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Barack Obama.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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