A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Fags are gay.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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Paige

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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