Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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That was SOOOOO funny that I laughed!!!!!

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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Surprise mother father (A+)

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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