Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

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Six million.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Woman's rights

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

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Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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How did the fat man die? Type 2 diabetes

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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how do you spell ugly ? U G L Y.

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i eat poop

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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Knock knock Who's there My dick

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Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

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What's worse than death? Not a lot!

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Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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