knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

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Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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Gracias por depositar mi dinero, y tener un buen día, adios.

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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why did little marwisheafuck want a cat for hanukock because her dad had ciilled a black priest that ate free mdicks out of a mshitfuck

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Halo < COD

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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Women's football

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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Black Veil Brides.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops