How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock What

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

AHHHHHHH OMGOMG OMG I SAY TO MY MUM SHE RUNS INTO THE ROOM SCREEMING AND SAYS WHAT HAPPEND I SAY ....................... i forgot now (k.c)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops