Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

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whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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Q: What did the ugly duckling say to the other ducks? A: QUACK!

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I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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