What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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YOLO

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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MICHAEL

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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why was the black man in jail? He stole food from a store due to the fact that his family was very poor and could not afford to fend for themselves.

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Knock Knock Come in

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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Chicken

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Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

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how do you spell ugly ? U G L Y.

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Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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