How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Black Veil Brides.

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Cows go moo.

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Women's rights

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops