What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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Hey look! Where? Above you, get the rebound.

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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penis hehehehe

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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