Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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Your mom is so black that her skin tone is darker than most people

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

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Sonic

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what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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Do you know what big feet mean. Big socks

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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The bird is not the word.... Its two

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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