Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The 19th Amendment

What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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