Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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