a catholic priest and a young boy

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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don't look behind you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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