Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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whats better than 24................. 25

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops