Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies In a tub 10 and 1/2

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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Don't think of granny porn

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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