What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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A man walks into a bar. He says ow

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anne hatthaway

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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The Economy

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

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Your mom is so black that her skin tone is darker than most people

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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What do you call a Mexican from Cancun? A cholo.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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