When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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anne hatthaway

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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Six million.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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