A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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