How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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women

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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Do you need any assistance?

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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Jake Bowar

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why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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