How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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why did Max cry??? chicken

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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I have no ideas.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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