What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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Du bist mein Kampf

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F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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That's Racist

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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Hey, name is Anita, I am Nero`s nurse, he told me to say that if you wish to speak any further, you are going to have to call him and prove you are not some guy. Say Tifa, do you ever play videogames?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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