Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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h

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

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what do kallum and joel have in common they both work at club getaway

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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Frown is a four letter word.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Gestapo.

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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