Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

thumb_up thumb_down +22

don't look behind you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when an Asian and a black person have a baby? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was the boy so ugly, because he had downs

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock, knock. Come in.......

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops