Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Canada

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Women's rights.

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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2 black guys and a Mexican are in the backseat of a car. Who's driving. The cops

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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democracy

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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