What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Japan called... They need help.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

thumb_up thumb_down +34

democracy

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Penis-Pump

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did dean carmon say to his brother? - I don't know I'm not his brother

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

thumb_up thumb_down +30

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops