How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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That's Racist

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How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops