Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

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What's easier to get than a broke prostitute on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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Women's rights.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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