Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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Black Veil Brides.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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