A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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That didn't hurt.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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I have no ideas.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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