What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

A woman gets in her car to drive.

What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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