Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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S.O.P.A

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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