What is a dinosaurs favorite chips? Doritos.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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Once upon a time.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

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OGC - tilt your head

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

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Roses are red Violets are penis

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Will you marry me?

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What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

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A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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