Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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