HARRY EFFING STYLES

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

What is brown and sticky?

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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