timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

Whats another word for Thesaurus?

How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

Don't think of granny porn

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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