What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

whats really hot the sun

Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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