What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

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Why was Jim gay? Because he liked penis.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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how do u get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy

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can i have a cookie no diabeto!

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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Why do black people like fried chicken? There's cocaine inside.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Knock knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Names don't matter. Now shut up and let me in before I kill your family

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Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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