Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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69

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42.

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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minced oaths

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Amputations.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Du bist mein Kampf

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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