Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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Your mom

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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who smells? •Liam

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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