Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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1234 5

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops