Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

how do you kill jesus? with a knife

nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

josh roberts you speccy cuunt

Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

Steve Jobs.

Womens Rights.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

whats funny? ebola and 911

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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