Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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Whats another word for Thesaurus?

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

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Don't think of granny porn

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Steve Jobs.

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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