Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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Don't think of granny porn

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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