How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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roses are red, violets are violet

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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Nathan Gooderson.

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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Your mother

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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