What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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h

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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69

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suck my dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops