Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

1234 5

what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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