roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

thumb_up thumb_down +40

why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There is this dylectic who can't spell.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +36

John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops