Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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minced oaths

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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