How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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women leaving the kitchen

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Kah-________-

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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