Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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women leaving the kitchen

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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