Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

I cant think of one (._. )

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

BOOBIES!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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