Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

HARRY EFFING STYLES

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops