What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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what is funnier then a man with AIDS? -nearly anything as AIDS is a serious medical condition and could be potentially lethal

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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