What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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h

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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69

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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suck my dick.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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