Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +35

-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops