What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

BWAT

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

suck my dick.

Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

What is a question?

-Knock Knock. -Come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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