what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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