What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

69

thumb_up thumb_down +30

roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock, Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock *runs away laughing*

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +26

minced oaths

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops