Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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Kah-________-

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

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4023145287

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops