How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

HARRY EFFING STYLES

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

knock knock whos there? how should I know?

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Womens rights

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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