I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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Looks through the peephole.

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

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You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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