A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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whats pale and white your ass.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops