what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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noodles

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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knock knock whos there .. derp

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

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Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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