What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Tacos

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Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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guess what? chicken butt.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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