Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Tacos

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Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Women's rights.

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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balls in ya mouf

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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a

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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