What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops