What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In soviet Russia...things are different

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A gay man watches football.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops