Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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