Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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