A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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John lazzaro likes dick

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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