What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

Yes

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

a person who will soon die of beeties

Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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