Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

a man checks his mypsace

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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