How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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How old are you? 7

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Where's my baby??

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops