3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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a

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops