What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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