When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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RACIST JOKE Why did the racist cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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