Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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pull my finger (farts)

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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How many light bulbs? 1

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops