Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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