What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

womens rights.

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

knock knock Goodbye

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...