A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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