Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

Once upon a time a was born

What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

How old are you? 7

Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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