Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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12 in general

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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