What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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