How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops