What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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i'm hard

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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