Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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My spelling is horrible

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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