As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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