jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

thumb_up thumb_down

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

thumb_up thumb_down

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

thumb_up thumb_down

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

thumb_up thumb_down -2

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

thumb_up thumb_down -2

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops