What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

Allah walked into AK Bar

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

5 Italian guys from Long Island

jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

A man walks into a bar. Splash.

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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