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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

Who's Juan? DIS ONE

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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