what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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How old are you? 7

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops