Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Hello

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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