why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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