i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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Jimmy Saville

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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