What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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