What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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