What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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like if your cool

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Why? Because.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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