How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

YOU WONT GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP!!!! YOU WONT DO ITTTT

When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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