Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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