what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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What's did the white man say to the black man? Howdy.

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

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I'm homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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