Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

thumb_up thumb_down +4

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops