Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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i'm hard

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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9/11 my birthday

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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