What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops