What's just not right? Left

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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