Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops