Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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NEVER

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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