what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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