Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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