A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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My Nan, that is all.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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