How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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What do you call a cow that is lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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