A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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My mom

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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