Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

GOODBYE

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

your skull would make a nice pen holder

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops