What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops