knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops