Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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