What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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how man

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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