What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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HURT

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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