Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops