Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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your mom.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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the sky is green no it is not

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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