What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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David Cameron

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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I saw 2 cannibals eating a clown. What did I do? Called the local police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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