Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Whats the difference between a cow and a sheep a cow goes baa and a sheep goes moo

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he was badly burnt in a house fire.

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What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops