Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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