What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Continents are large islands.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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