Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +26

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops