How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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