How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops