A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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a

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops