What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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kkkk

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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