Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

ure mama's so fat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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