Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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