- Anti Joke

The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

Listen jackass (and do not take that too personally, you are trying at least, but trying and not succeeding is not enough) The underground society was crushed, devastated from within, and the crimes committed against it from everyone from the FBI to the Vatican state where never exposed to the mainstream media, we where hunted down like dogs, and like dogs, many where killed without motivation. What you are doing wrong is that you are watering down what was a solid foundation, by allowing everyone to become part of your little "order" you are not setting the strict guidelines required necessary to keep things, yeah, fuck. IN ORDER, and again, by not explaining the methods you use to draw people towards you, you are brainwashing them, but then again, if you begin teaching these methods to everyone. THEN EVERYONE can become a fucking "Axel Knight", and much worse, start worldwide religions based on brainwashing! It is not about elitism, but it is not about allowing everyone to join the fucking "Order" either, people abuse you, and they abuse your information, in order you abuse them in order to keep yourself safe, and become the rat trapped in a hole in his own mansion like you have become. The order was meant to die, not to be kept alive on a fucking iron lung! Without a solid base of power, all you are doing is holding into something that is slowly dying no matter what you do! And no, your amorally gained wealth wont change anything! Now, why I use my methods to write? Because I am a fucking writer, an artist, I use the methods I myself was a great asset in developing, which allows me to convey, describe and express FICTION as if it where real, as accurate as possible. In no goddamn fucking way do I use my methods to keep a already dead "order" alive by inflating my achievements or offer people some "six million people promised land". You know that the underground society never had nearly as many members, and it was never meant to have it either, it is not about the numbers, it is about dedication, it is not about wealth, its about information and keeping it safe from those that seek to abuse it, while drawing forth those that can use said information responsively. Six million people, you should be ashamed, If it is a goddamn lie, its good as far as I am concerned, I do not expect better from you, but if there is the slightest chance it is true, then you are trying to share your vision with the whole world. And that includes those that seek to abuse it, you are teaching politicians, generals, priests random cultists how to influence and brainwash others even better than before. If that does not give you some pinpoints, you fucking dissolve whatever is left, then you are incompetent and deluded, and again, your fabled rise from poverty to wealth and power, does not equal competence, no amount of money can revive the underground society, wealth and power was never its ideal goal. Now, let me be, if you want more information, I want the money deposited first, but you cannot keep drawing people as some would be savior, if you have no idea what the fuck you are doing. Wealth does not equal competence.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

What did the man say ti the other man? Hi

Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

"hey do you know the date" "58"

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

your mum

why couldnt hellen keller drive? she was a woman.

a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops