A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

800 people died last year. end of story

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops