A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Dude man, I'm high...

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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One time i was sitting down

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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