What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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your face

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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AIDS

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops