Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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HURT

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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