What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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Rebecca Blacks walk into a bar. She gets shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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