Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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