roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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