salad days!

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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