What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? A 6ft tall black man who recently escaped prison that is requesting asylum in your lovely mansion. sounds legit.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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