An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

knock knock who's there? your destiny

What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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