A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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