Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin says nothing because it is a muffin.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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A black man,a Hispanic man, and a white man are in a race. The white man wins because he took steroids and used somebody else's urine for the drug test.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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