What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

VITAMIN C!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

thumb_up thumb_down +12

anti jokes are for fags

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops