A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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add me on facebook guys , im sexy , i get mad girls and guys, im bisexual , and im a blood (the gang) http://www.facebook.com/brock.beatty.1?ref=ts

DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

It's likely that very few people will read this.

A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

What is my name? I dont know

A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

Whats 1+1? The answer!

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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