What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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