How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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this website even though its hilarious.

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Knock knock.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops