A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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your mum

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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