Daniel is a fag

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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Detroit has a low crime rate

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A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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women's rights

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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