What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

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whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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Knock Knock Come in

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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