Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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BIG MAC'S

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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