what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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