What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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