Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops