What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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whats worse than finding ten dead babies in one recycling bin finding ten dead babies in one trashcan ---sticksack

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Why did the Black man kill the White man? So he could end up in jail with the rest of his family.

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

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live or die you decide to late time to die

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken -A black guy being black

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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