What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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Where's the soap?

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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Knock Knock.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Charlie Sheen

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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