when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

My Nan, that is all.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops