I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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Confucius say: Man who fart in church probably has a medical condition and should not be made fun of because that is cruel.

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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read this sentence again.

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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I bet I can say the the whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world. The whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world.

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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whats an aids victims last wish not to have aids

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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